Changing Tides
by CaseyL
Summary: A series of one-shots based on season 3 events.
1. Chapter 1

**I know I should be working on my other story, but I'm much further ahead in time in that one, and I had some ideas playing around in my head of how Rayna comes to the decision to call off the wedding. Just a quick one-shot.**

##

Rayna was meeting with the producer for the "Christmas with the Jaymes Family Special" when Maddie blew in the door followed by Deacon. She ran up to Rayna barely noticing that she was talking with anyone. "Mom, guess what?"

"What sweet girl?" Rayna gave a look to the producer pardoning her eldest's interruption.

"Dad said he'd let me sing on one of the tracks he's laying down next week for his new album."

"He did?" Rayna asked enthused while raising an eyebrow to Deacon standing behind her. "That's awfully nice of him."

"It's nothing," Deacon said as he sidled up beside Maddie. "I needed someone singing back up on the track, and she's better than most of the studio musicians out there. Guess it runs in the family."

"You must be Maddie's father." The producer interjected. "Deacon Claybourne right?"

"Yep, that's me." Deacon reached out his hand to the producer.

"I've been a big fan of yours for a while. I was always a guitar man at heart."

"Well, that's mighty nice of you."

Maddie started pulling at Deacon's arm. "Come on Dad, I want to show you the lyrics I've been working on for that new song. They're up in my room."

"Okay, okay," Deacon laughed as he followed her up the stairs.

The producer turned back to Rayna. "I think I just got a brilliant idea."

"What's that?" Rayna asked.

"Why don't we include Deacon in the Christmas special?"

"Oh, I don't know about that."

"He's Maddie's dad right? He's family?"

Rayna's heart fluttered a little at the mention of Deacon as part of her family but she tried to suppress it. "Yes, of course he's family."

"Then why doesn't he sing a song. Maybe one on his own, and one with Maddie."

Rayna knew Luke would not be happy having Deacon as part of their family Christmas special. Luke said repeatedly what a great way this would be to introduce them as a new family to the world. She doubted he had considered Deacon a part of that, but she also didn't really want to air her dirty laundry to this producer. "Alright, let's ask Deacon."

"Ask me what?" Just then Deacon bounded down the stairs with Maddie.

"Well," Rayna started. "We were just talking about maybe you could play a song or two on the family special. One alone and one with Maddie."

"That would be amazing, dad, wouldn't that be amazing?"

Deacon really did not want to be a part of the Ruke family Christmas, but he also couldn't disappoint his daughter. He took one look at her smile and the twinkle in her eye and he knew he had to say yes. "Sure, that would be great sweetie."

"Wonderful, my associate producer will call you tonight to set up a time for you to film tomorrow. I'll get your number from Rayna."

"Alright, well, I gotta go, but I guess I'll see you ladies tomorrow."

Deacon headed out, unsure of what just happened, but he sure as hell wasn't going to waste an opportunity to make Luke Wheeler uncomfortable.

##

"Hey babe." Rayna sat down next to Luke on the couch as he was taking off his boots.

"What's up sugar?"

"So the producer for the special was over earlier when Deacon brought Maddie home, and he got it in his head that Deacon should play a couple of songs."

"Play a couple of songs where?"

"During the special."

Rayna could see Luke starting to turn red. "During our family special? You're going to have your ex-boyfriend play a song during our family special?"

"Well Luke, technically he _is_ family. He's Maddie's dad."

"Are you kidding me? Just because you forgot to use a condom 16 years ago I'm stuck with that ass for the rest of my life. I don't think so."

"Don't be so crude Luke, we're talking about my daughter's father here."

"No, we're talking about a guy with a serious attitude who still has designs on you Rayna. Man, I wish that you and Teddy had kept Maddie's paternity a secret forever, then I wouldn't have to be dealing with him now."

"Well, if Deacon had never found out about Maddie then he and I would still be together, so you're right, you wouldn't be having to deal with him at all." Rayna realized that in the heat of the moment maybe she'd let a little too much slip out.

This stopped Luke dead in his tracks. "What do you mean you guys would still be together? You and Deacon haven't dated since Maddie was conceived 16 years ago, and I thought you broke up cause he was a drunk?"

"Actually, he and I were kind of back together when he found out about Maddie, you know, right before the accident."

Luke's eyes opened wide. "Didn't you say he found out at the CMAs? Rayna that was barely a year ago! Barely 2 months before we started dating!"

"I didn't mention that?"

"No, I think I would have remembered if you'd mentioned that."

"Well I wasn't trying to hide it or anything. It was just a painful time, and I didn't really want to talk about it that's all."

Luke stood up shaking his head. "We really have to have him in this special?"

"I can't back out on him now Luke, Maddie would be devastated, they're singing a song together."

"Fine, but this is the last time something like this happens Rayna, okay?

"Fine, last time, scouts honor."

##

Rayna woke up in the morning to someone ringing her doorbell. She threw on a robe and ran to answer it. It was a delivery person with an envelope for her. "Oh damn," she thought to herself. "I totally forgot about the _Rolling Stone_ issue." She leafed through it reading the article Highway 65 stuff, a little on her relationship with Luke, and "Oh crap." Rayna picked up the phone and called Deacon. "Hey, could you give me a call before you come over this morning. I have something I need to talk to you about."

She hung up the phone and sat down at her kitchen table with her head in her hands. Today could either go fine, or it had the potential to be one of the worst days in the history of her life. She just hoped for the former.

##

By the time she spotted him she was tied up filming a scene and he was already setting up for his song with Maddie. She couldn't read his expression and it bothered her. He was clearly here, she saw his phone sticking out of his back pocket, so why was he avoiding her calls?

"Cut!" the director called. Rayna headed over to Deacon, but she was cut off by Luke coming out of the kitchen. "Mr. Claybourne, glad you could take some time off of banging my back up singer to show up." This comment made Rayna wince. She'd heard he'd been involved with Pam York, but it had seemed like more of a rumor than a fact until this moment.

"Just thought I'd spend some time with my family Wheeler, happy to help out where both Maddie and Rayna are concerned." The two men stared each other down until the producer motioned for Deacon and Maddie to take their places on set by the Christmas tree. They were singing "I'll Be Home for Christmas" which particularly stung Deacon since he knew Maddie wouldn't be home for Christmas, but it was one of her favorites so he sang it anyway.

When they wrapped Maddie went upstairs to get Daphne and Deacon launched into his solo. Even before he got through the first verse Rayna's stomach sank. He was singing "Blue Christmas," and he was looking directly at her when he sang it. Rayna tried to look away as she felt his eyes bore into hers, but there was just something about him, there always had been. She felt her mouth go dry and her temperature rise as she became entranced watching him sing. Nearby Luke took notice shaking his head and walking out of the room rather than watching his fiancé have some intense eye sex with her ex while the cameras rolled.

When Deacon finished his song he walked into the music room where he'd left his guitar case. The crew was bustling around getting ready for the next scene, the girls were upstairs, and Luke was outside cooling off. He closed the latch on his case and when he looked up she was standing there. "You've been doing a good job of avoiding me all day."

"What do you want me to say Ray?"

"Did you read the article?"

"Of course I read the article. I just don't understand how you can say those things, say those things to a reporter, and continue to plan your wedding like it's the most natural thing in the world."

"Come on now Deacon. You know my feelings for you are what they are, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't marry Luke. There's more to a relationship than love."

"I know that Ray." Deacon made his way from behind his guitar space so he was standing just a foot or so away from Rayna."But you at least have to start out with love. Do you really love him? Love him the way you love me?"

Rayna was silent, but searched for the right word.

"This is a big deal Rayna, don't do this again, don't marry the wrong man just cause you think it's the right decision. It's not too late." Deacon reached out to Rayna taking her face in his hands and wiping away the sole tear that was dripping form her eye. Rayna looked up at him unsure of what to do or say, all she knew is that when he held her like this she was helpless to do anything else but bend to his every whim.

Their breaths were heavy and the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop as they stared into each other's eyes. That is until Luke walked into the room. "What the hell is going on here?!" he shouted.

Startled Rayna jerked away from Deacon. "Nothing, nothing's going on."

"Then why the hell does he have his hands on you Rayna?"

"We were just talking Luke."

"With his hands on your face?"

"It's not what it looks like, I promise."

Luke started to stomp out of the room and Rayna followed turning back just at the doorway towards Deacon. "I'll be back in a second, I just need too…"

"Fine Rayna, go."

Rayna ran after Luke finding him in the front entryway. He lowered his voice so the camera crew couldn't hear them. "We're in the middle of a god damn public spectacle Rayna, there's cameras all around and you're letting him paw you in the middle of broad daylight."

"He wasn't pawing me Luke."

"I can't believe I agreed to this in the first place. I'm not Teddy Rayna. I'm not going to stand there while you parade him through our life. I do not want him in our house."

"He's Maddie's father Luke."

"Exactly, he's _Maddie'_s father. He ain't nothing to you. She's a teenager, if she wants to see him she can go see him, she doesn't need you arranging things for the two of them. There's no reason you should be dealing with Deacon unless something big is happening with her, and he certainly should not be part of our family gatherings."

"Luke, you're being unreasonable."

"_I'm_ being unreasonable? I think I've been pretty patient with that ass up until now. But enough is enough Rayna, he's gone, right now, forever."

Rayna was visibly shaken, but she knew she had to pull it together. "Alright, I'll talk to Deacon, just give me a minute okay?"

"Fine, you handle it."

Rayna walked back into the music room where Deacon was sitting on the couch.

"Guess he's kind of pissed at me, huh?"

"He's pissed at me too."

"Ray, this should just show you how wrong it is that you're with him. He's not part of this family."

Rayna collected herself, once again covering her emotions with her practiced cool exterior. "No Deacon, you're not a part of _our_ family."

Rayna could see that this hurt Deacon deeply, and it stung her heart that she had to say this to him. "I _am_ marrying Luke Deacon, and I think it's best if maybe we keep our distance for a little while. At least until after the wedding."

"You're serious? You're just going to push me out? That's how you're dealing with this?

"He's going to be my husband Deacon, he doesn't want you around, I can't just ignore him."

"And what do _you_ want?"

"I want what's best for my new family."

Deacon was silent just staring at her nodding his head for a moment, just trying to comprehend what was really happening here. "Okay Rayna, you want distance, I'll give you distance, I'll give you permanent distance." He stormed out the room hightailing it towards the door, but running into Maddie on his way out.

"You're leaving?" she asked.

"Yeah, I gotta go baby, but I'll see you in a couple of days okay?"

"Alright Dad." She hugged him, squeezing him a little extra hard before letting go. Rayna watched as he walked out the door and the sick feeling she'd been trying to keep at bay all day hit her full force.

##

Rayna couldn't believe it was the morning of the wedding. The last few weeks, hell, the last few moths had been nothing but a whirlwind. Rayna was sorting through the jewelry she would need for later when Tandy came in. She'd arrived late last night from San Francisco and Rayna was really happy to have her here.

"Where are the girls?" she asked.

"They're with Teddy." Rayna replied. "He's brining them to the wedding."

"Teddy's coming?"

"Yeah, isn't it great that we can all be adults?" She smiled at Tandy.

"What about Deacon?"

The smile faded from Rayna's face. "He wasn't invited. Luke didn't want him there considering everything that's happened. Plus I doubt he would want to come. I haven't even heard from him since we filmed the Christmas special two weeks ago. I told him we needed some distance, and well, I guess he finally listened."

Tandy raised an eyebrow. "Rayna, that's a good thing, you realize that right?"

"Yes of course," she said, though it seemed like she was trying harder to convince herself than Tandy.

"Rayna, you need to forget about Deacon. You are marrying a wonderful man who loves you so much and treats you like a Queen. The two of you are going to be the new Tim and Faith. You need to put Deacon in the past forever."

"First of all, no one said I wanted to be the new Tim and Faith. And as far as Deacon goes…I know that Tandy, but he's still Maddie's father, and he's still my friend. I just don't know how he's going to handle all this, and it worries me that I haven't heard from him. What if he's getting himself into trouble? What if he was so upset he drank?"

"Has Maddie spoken to him?"

"Yeah, she said he's spending the weekend in Memphis with Scarlett."

"See, he's fine, and soon enough, you won't have to worry about Deacon Claybourne anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"I just mean after you and Luke get married you're going away on that honeymoon tour right? If you're traveling on tour for more than a year you won't see Deacon during that time. By the time a year-and-a-half passes by without seeing each other you won't even remember each other's names."

Rayna had a calm exterior but inside she was panicking. A year-and-a-half was so long. How did she not realize that she wouldn't be able to see Deacon during that time. They'd never gone more than a few weeks without seeing each other since they were teenagers, how could she go more than a year?

Rayna felt her heart start to race and her face get flushed. She had to get out of there. "You know what," she said as she stood up. "I forgot about something I need to pick up before the ceremony. I'll be back."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Tandy asked as Rayna was already half-way out the door.

Rayna put her hand up in protest as she slipped outside. "Not at all, I'll be fine." And with that she was gone.

##

Rayna sat in her car in a parking lot somewhere of I-40. She'd jumped in the car and just drove until all of a sudden she felt the need to pull over. She'd taken a quick exit and here she was in the abandoned parking lot of some long closed discount store. If the paparazzi had been there they would have had a field day taking photos of Queen of Country Rayna Jaymes sitting in her black SUV crying her eyes out just hours before her fairytale wedding.

Everything just seemed to be happening so quickly, and everything just felt so not her, so wrong. She reached into her purse and pulled out a pouch she had hidden in one of the pockets. She pulled on the string so it opened and dumped the contents of it into her hand. The silver band didn't sparkle the way the rock on her finger did, but it still shined with all the memories and all the promise that she and Deacon once had. She took off Luke's ring and put it on the dash then she slipped Deacon's back on her finger. She looked at it for a minute and all she thought was how right it felt, how _her_ it felt. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, he was a part of her, and without him she knew she'd never feel like herself again.

Rayna slipped the ring off of her finger and put it back in the pouch in her bag, then she put Luke's ring in the cup holder beside her and headed her car towards Freewheelin' Ranch.


	2. Chapter 2

**Enough people requested a part two that I decided to oblige, but this is really the last chapter. Check out my other story The Cover if you want a story that covers later up the road. **

##

Rayna drove through the large metal gates and up the driveway through all the rolling hills at Freewheelin Ranch. She remembered the first time she was here when Luke took her shooting. It was the first time in months that she'd felt free from all the burdens that her secrets had caused. Thinking about it now she guessed that she'd mistaken that excitement at no longer carrying that heavy weight, and the joy at surviving the accident, for the excitement that comes with new love. She'd wanted to hold on to that lightness as long as possible, and as a consequence had held onto Luke far past when she should have.

She looked ahead at all the trucks delivering chairs and flowers, and lights for the wedding and she chastised herself for letting it get this far. This was going to be much harder than it needed to be if she'd only let herself follow her heart a few weeks ago. She knew that day at the house with Deacon that he was right, Luke didn't belong in her life, just as she didn't belong in his, but she had been so scared to admit that she'd been wrong all these months, that she wasn't ready to let go. Rayna sighed, yes, it would have been much easier if she'd just done this then.

She climbed out of her car and started walking towards where they were setting up for the ceremony. She spotted Luke by the stage in the front instructing a man where to put the string lights. As she walked up she saw the surprise hit his face and she swallowed hard.

"Hey sugar, what are doing here this early? You know it's bad luck for the groom to see his bride before the actual wedding."

Luke's smile was so sweet that it made Rayna feel ashamed. She stumbled a little trying to get the words out. "I know you're going to think I'm the worst person in the world Luke, and you have every right to think that, but I thought to myself, if I go through with this, I would be an even worse person."

Rayna hoped that he would just read her mind and she wouldn't have to continue to try to find the right words, but the look of confusion on Luke's face signified that he hadn't quite grasped her meaning.

"What are you talkin' about? Go through with what?"

Rayna choked back a tear as she gestured with her hand. "All this."

"Darlin' you're not telling me that you want to elope are you? Cause it's kind of late for that. I mean we have 500 people coming in about 5 hours. That wouldn't look too good if they show up and we've flown off to Vegas."

Rayna realized that her hand was shaking. She put it in her pocket to try to steady herself. "No babe, I don't want to elope. I don't want to get married to you…at all."

Rayna watched as the smile on Luke's face fell away. She took a deep breath and continued. "See the thing is this just doesn't feel right. None of it does, and I know I should have done this before today, but it's better than us having to put our kids through another divorce up the road."

Rayna couldn't quite read the look on Luke's face and then all of a sudden his eyes darkened and it scared her a bit. "What did he say to you?"

"What, who?"

"Deacon, what did he say to make you do this?"

Rayna shook her head. "This isn't about Deacon Luke."

Luke smirked as he shifted on his boots, "Of course it's about Deacon Rayna, if you're going to do this to me at least you can have the decency to be honest."

Rayna looked down at her shoes and wondered how long it would take her to get to her car if she just turned and ran, but then she realized she had to be a grown up here and face the music. "Alright, if I'm being completely honest, part of it _is_ that I'm still in love with Deacon, I've always been in love with Deacon, and it wouldn't be fair to you if I married you feeling that way. I did it to Teddy, and it hurt him more than I'm sure he'd like to admit."

"Is this a joke? Is this some kind of game the two of you play to make it hotter when you're back together?"

"No Luke, don't be silly." Rayna reached out taking his hands. "I love you, I do. Just not the way I'm supposed to if I'm gonna be your wife. I'm sorry."

Luke stood there motionless. Surprise was an understatement. Rayna let go of his hands. "I'm going to leave now. Just let Bucky know what the cost is for all this and I'll pay half." Rayna turned and walked quickly to her car making sure not to look back. She started to cry harder as she turned the ignition, but by the time she hit the gate she'd cranked down the window, the breeze was in her hair and she thought to herself, "Now this freedom."

##

Rayna had stopped at Teddy's on the way home to tell the girls that they wouldn't be bridesmaids today. Daphne had been mad, Maddie had just been annoyed. "Now I'm going to be known as the daughter of the runaway bride. Why do your decisions always fuck up my life?"

"Hey, language young lady. I thought you'd be happy about this?"

Maddie gave her the typical teenager look of 'I could care less.' "I guess, at least we don't have to move."

Rayna had let the girls stay with Teddy since they were worried there'd be some serious media attention buzzing around the Belle Meade mansion. They were right, by the time she got home photographers were already waiting outside the gate. Rayna assumed they were waiting for her to come out in her dress, so it was a surprise when they saw her drive back in. Rayna kicked off her boots when she got inside and collapsed on the couch.

"Where the hell have you been?" Tandy asked as she looked up from her laptop. "I thought you were going out for 5 minutes. It's been two hours! You barely have enough time to get ready."

"There's nothing to get ready for Tandy. I called off the wedding?"

"What? You're telling me I just flew half-way across the country for something that's not happening?"

"Just let it drop. I don't want to talk about it."

"Don't worry, you don't need to. It's written all over your face…and it looks like a brooding guitar player."

Rayna flashed her eyes up at Tandy but didn't say anything.

"This is because you're still in love with Deacon correct?"

Rayna just nodded her head and pulled the blanket up higher towards her face.

"Oh Rayna." Tandy shook her head. "I don't even know what to do with you anymore. Why did I think this time would be any different? It's never different with the two of you, you're like two magnets, the harder you try to pull them apart the stronger you snap together. Have you told him yet?"

"No."

"Well, I think he already know."

"What? What makes you think that?"

Tandy turned her laptop around so Rayna could see it. "Check this out, it's trending on Twitter."

It was a video titled "Wheels Up Knockdown!" and it was clearly Luke trying to beat the crap out of Deacon in his front yard until Deacon swung back with one solid punch and knocked Luke on his ass. Luke scrambled to get up then jumped back in his SUV with his bodyguards and drove away.

"Oh no," Rayna sighed. "This is not good. I should text Deacon."

Rayna picked up her phone and typed "Haven't seen that bar room upper cut in a while."

Two-minutes later she got in return "Luckily haven't had to use it much lately, but I still got it."

Rayna smiled and typed back "Crazy day. Meet on the bridge in our spot?"

There was a pause of about thirty-seconds where Rayna's heart started to beat quickly, then…"When?"

"Thirty?" she typed.

"See you then."

##

When Rayna got to the bridge he was already there. She stood back and watched him as he leaned on the railing looking out at the water. There was a certain sadness about him that seemed odd to Rayna, but she pushed the thought away as she approached him.

"Hey babe."

Deacon turned to look at her and right away she noticed he had a black eye. "Ouch," she said as she tenderly examined the purple puffiness surrounding his eye with her fingers. "Does it hurt?"

"Of course it hurts Ray. I got punched in the face. You know this is the second time you've gotten me punched by that guy in six months?"

"I'm sorry. I never thought he'd go after you like that."

"Well just shows you how little you knew him."

Rayna nodded her head and took Deacon's hands in her own. "I am sorry Deacon…about all of it. I never meant to hurt you, I was just trying so damn hard to be someone I'm not, and I guess it finally caught up with me."

"I'm just glad you didn't go through with a marriage that wasn't going to make you happy. You deserve better than him Rayna."

Rayna smiled and pulled his hands to her face kissing them. "What like you?"

Deacon smiled sadly and pulled his hands back from her. "I didn't say that Ray. I just meant someone who really understands you."

"Well that's you, you know that. That's always been you." Rayna paused and turned looking out at the water. "After the accident I was so determined to put all that behind me, to put us behind me and be someone new, like a rebirth of sorts. I wanted so much not to love you anymore, not to need you, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't deny my feelings for you. I will never love anyone the way I love you Deacon. Not even close."

"Rayna, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to love me. I want someone who feels lucky to love me and be loved by me in return."

Rayna ran her hands up Deacon's chest and onto his face. "I know it may not seem like it, but I do feel lucky to be loved by you, and I promise I will never turn away from us again."

Deacon reached up removing Rayna's hands from his face, but continuing to hold them. "Ray, besides a month or two here and there, when was the last time you were single? I mean really single."

"I don't know, I guess before we met."

"Exactly, before we met, when you were 15. That was the last time you were single. You just broke off an engagement five hours ago. Don't you think you need some time alone to figure out what you really want?"

Rayna shook her head. "I know what I want. I want you, for all of time I want you."

Deacon smiled and kissed her forehead, "And I'm sure I will love you more than anything until the day I die, but I think you need to figure out that it's okay for you to live without a man in your life. That you'll be alright if it's just you and the girls."

Rayna wasn't sure why he was saying this to her, but it unsettled her. "But it won't be just me and the girls."

Deacon smiled and once again kissed her hands. "Just take some time Ray. It will be best for everyone. You were supposed to go away for the holidays right?"

"Well yes but…"

"Take the girls, get away for a couple of weeks."

Rayna was really confused at this point, she thought for sure Deacon would want to spend the holidays with Maddie. "You don't want to spend Christmas with us?"

"I'd love to baby, but I think you need to get the girls away from all this media attention, and I think me going with you would just fuel the fire. I'll be here when you get back."

Rayna was unsure about this plan, but she really couldn't argue with Deacon's logic. "Alright, but we'll readdress this after the New Year, right?"

Deacon just nodded his head. "Sure Ray. After the New Year." Then he pulled her into his arms. Rayna buried her face in his chest and Deacon tilted his head down to smell the scent of her hair. Then they both looked up quietly watching while the lights of Nashville flicker off an on.


	3. We've Got A Love

**Rather than start a new story, I thought I'd make this a series of one-shots based on various things happening in season 3. I know chapter 1 covered this, but this is another variation on Rayna ending things with Luke based on the promo for the upcoming episode.**

**Since a couple of people asked I guess I should have said. The song that Maddie and Daphne sing in the story is the real song that they'll sing this Wednesday at the rehearsal dinner. It's called We've Got A Love and it's available on iTunes. **

##

Rayna glided around the room in her perfectly chosen black dress that accentuated all of her best assets. She had a glass of champagne in her right hand and a 7-carat stunner on her left that would soon be joined by a $20,000 diamond eternity band that she had picked out three weeks ago. She'd texted a photo to Tandy to ask if it was too ostentatious, but Tandy had just texted back an emoji with a thumbs up, so she went ahead and bought it along with Luke's diamond studded gold band.

She was chatting with some friends of Luke's who she'd never met before when it was announced that the dinner was ready. Everyone took their places at the long main table. Rayna scanned the room. She realized she didn't know more than a quarter of the 200 people there. She sighed to herself, 200 people at a rehearsal dinner, she never even expected 200 people at the wedding, but Luke never wanted to offend anyone or leave anyone out that could help with their careers so 200 it was.

While they ate their filet mignon friends walked up to the front of the table giving short speeches about the happy couple. Unfortunately not very many friends had actually ever spent time with Luke and Rayna as a couple, so his friends' speeches were more about never thinking that anyone would tie old Wheeler down again after the divorce, and Rayna's friends and bandmates just wished them luck, and lots of happiness in their future.

As the crowd began to settle there was a clinking of glasses and Rayna spied her daughters with their guitars at the front of the room. She put down her glass and smiled at Luke getting his attention. "They warned me they'd written a song. I think they felt they had to after they'd sung one at Teddy's wedding to Peggy."

"Well, hopefully this marriage will turn out better than that one." Luke said raising his eyebrows at Rayna.

Just then Daphne started to speak. "Mom, Luke, we know it hasn't been the easiest few months, but we're looking forward to starting a new family."

"And going to Australia," Maddie interjected.

"And going to Australia," Daphne repeated. "This is our wedding gift to you."

The girls launched into song. "_What do you need that you don't have? What have you lost you can't get back? What if I promised it would be alright. It'll be alright."_

Rayna smiled sweetly. The melody was quite nice, but she wasn't really sure what the song was about yet. She just stared at her beautiful daughters in total awe of their talent.

"_Cause we got a love, oh oh, we got candy apple red sweet, steady as a heartbeat love, oh me and you. We got a love, oh oh. We got will of a tall pine, once in a lifetime love, oh me and you."_

Rayna's heart began to beat quickly. She loved the words, they were so sweet and romantic but when her girls sang them she wasn't thinking of Luke when she heard "me and you." As hard as she tried to push them out, images of Deacon kept seeping into her thoughts. She trained her head forward. She couldn't even bare to look at Luke for fear that he'd see it in her eyes. "Just concentrate on your girls she told herself." But when she looked up at Maddie all she saw were Deacon's eyes staring back at her through their daughter.

"_The darkest cloud will split and fade. Every tear will wash away. Can I hold you close till the sun comes out? Baby can you see it now? We got a love oh, we got hope like a new spring pushin' on a porch swing love, oh oh me and you. We got a love, oh oh, we're as free as a blackbird true as a good word oh, oh me and you."_

Rayna could barely breath, were they trying to sing about she and Deacon? Had he put them up to this? Was this Maddie's way of getting back at her for turning Deacon down when he proposed? She looked back up at the girls, their sweet smiling faces as they sang the song they'd worked so hard on. Of course they didn't mean anything by it. They were being loving, and thoughtful, and writing a song about true love for their mother and the man that she had _said_ she wanted to spend the rest of her life with; the man who she was supposed to pledge that life to in less than 24 hrs.

"_So what do you need that you don't have? What have you lost you can't get back? What if I promised it'll be alright? It'll be alright. Cause we got a love…"_

Rayna didn't really hear the rest of the song. She was in full on panic mode by this point. She tried to keep the plastered smile on her face until the end of the song, then clapped wildly and stood up to kiss the girls before promptly running out of the room in the commotion that followed. Rayna locked herself in a bathroom stall and broke down. Tears flowed freely as she thought about the girls words and how they described she and Deacon to a tee. He's the one who was her steady as a heartbeat love. He's the one she pictured holding her through dark times until the sun emerged. He was her will of a tall pine, once in a lifetime love. "Would it be alright?" she asked herself. No, she shook her head and cleared her eyes of the salty wetness before returning to the party.

Somehow she made it through the rest of the night. She kissed Luke goodbye promising she'd see him tomorrow, but somewhere deep inside she already knew she wouldn't be there standing at the alter next to him like they'd planned. She drove home with the girls and Tandy saying good night before heading to her own room. When she got there she took off her dress and hung it up in the closet next to the white one in the garment bag that would never be worn. She wrapped herself in her robe and sat down in front of her mirror. Then she did the unthinkable for the night before her wedding, she pulled out Deacon's ring and once again slipped it on her finger. God she loved him. She couldn't deny it any longer. In this craziness that had become her life, loving him was the only thing that felt right anymore. She took the ring off then instead of getting into her pajamas she pulled on her jeans and a sweater and slipped quietly out the door.

She read the clock on the dashboard as she stopped in front of his house in East Nasvhille 12:15 am. She knew that was way too late for a visit, but she didn't think he'd care, and she had to see him before tomorrow. She knocked on his door but no one answered. She peered in the window of his bedroom and didn't see him in there. She looked around and his truck was there, but she noticed Scarlett's car wasn't in the driveway. She considered that maybe Scarlett had dragged him out tonight so he wouldn't be sitting home alone wallowing on the night before her wedding. "They have to be home by 1:00 she thought." Rayna sat down on the porch swing and kicked up her feet curling up. By 12:30 sleep overtook her and she passed out with her head pressed up against the pillow.

When she woke up in the morning she looked at her watch and it read 6:00 am. Scarlett's car was still not in the driveway and she assumed that if either one had come home they probably would have woken her. Her initial feeling was that of desperation that she couldn't find him, but then it settled into realization. Realization that even if she couldn't talk to Deacon she knew she couldn't go through with the wedding. She was 43 years old and smart enough to know that you don't spend the night before your wedding curled up on the porch swing of your ex-boyfriend in 45-degree weather if you're meant to marry someone else.

Rayna stood up straightening her clothing then climbed back into her SUV. She cranked up the heat and pointed her car towards Luke's ranch. Time to be a big girl and face the consequences.


	4. Facing the Consequences

**This is my take on the events directly after Rayna dumps Luke. Just wondering what's going to happen when Deacon opens up that door to find Rayna standing there. **

##

It was 8:30 at night. She was supposed to be at her reception right now. She would have been dancing through the well manicured gardens at Luke's ranch, tea lights sparkling off of her 7-carat engagement ring and her newly added diamond wedding band. Country music's top talent would have been busting into impromptu song dedicated to her and her new husband, as People Magazine photographers snapped photos of the 500 person festivities.

Instead she was sitting alone in her car on a small street in East Nashville around the corner from Deacon Claybourne's house. She'd parked around the corner to avoid any lingering paparazzi that was still there following this afternoon's spectacle. Luke had jumped Deacon as he walked out to pick up his mail and Deacon had gotten a good punch in before the two men realized how silly they were being and collapsed on Deacon's front lawn laughing at the absurd situation caused by no one but herself. Despite her claim to the press that she and Luke were going to remain friends, she was pretty sure that at least at this moment, that was not going to be possible, and she wondered if the same held true for she and Deacon.

Rayna looked down at her hands still gripping the steering wheel and realized she was shaking a bit. She shook her head, clearing the negative thoughts from her mind. What did she have to worry about? Deacon loved her, had always loved her, and would always love her. He said as much two weeks ago while she stood three feet away from him breaking his heart once again. God she wished she hadn't done that. She didn't want to think about the look on his face. It was pure pain, and she knew it. She'd tried over the last two weeks not to think about how much she'd hurt him, but the longer he went without reaching out to her, the more she thought about it. Two weeks. She hadn't heard from him in two weeks, and now she was just going to show up on his front doorstep and everything was going to be okay?

Rayna climbed out of the car and made her way around the corner on foot. Looks like the photographers had all gone home, or maybe they'd all headed to her home. Either way the coast was clear. She walked up onto his porch, pausing a moment to remember the last time she showed up on his porch unannounced to tell him she still loved him. She knew this wouldn't be the same, there had been too much that had gone on between them in the last year. Too many things said, too much hurt.

Rayna stepped up and rang the bell. A moment later Deacon opened the door. She heard him sigh as he motioned for her to come in. "Come on in Ray."

Rayna fidgeted nervously with her hands. "I guess you heard that the wedding is off?"

"Yeah, well my eye heard before the rest of me." Deacon rubbed the spot where Luke had managed to get in a punch before he had realized what was happening. "You know that's the second time in six months you've gotten me punched by that guy Rayna?"

Rayna winced "I know, and I'm real sorry for that. Actually, I'm real sorry for a lot of things Deacon. I've been such a mess lately."

"Yeah, you kind of have been." Rayna knew he was right, she had just said it herself, but hearing that he thought that too stung a little. "Why are you here Ray?"

"I want to be honest with you, just like I was honest with Luke earlier today. I stayed up all last night thinking about who I am, who I've been, all the mistakes I've made. Not just with Luke, not just in the last year, but in the last 20 years. I've spent so much of my life trying not to let the past catch up with me by avoiding it, but in doing that, I haven't dealt with any of it.

I realized that I just do the same thing over and over again. It's a cycle. Instead of dealing with us, with our problems, I run away and hide with someone else. I did it with Teddy when I found out I was pregnant, and you were in and out of rehab, and I did it with Luke after the accident. I'm tired of hiding. It's not fair to them, and more than that, it's not fair to us."

Deacon wasn't sure what to say in response to this. He'd known Rayna since she was sixteen, and self-reflection had never been one of her strong suits. This revelation on her part shocked him more than finding out earlier in the day that he probably had cancer. "So what are you saying Ray?"

"I'm saying I'm sorry. I'm saying that I know I blamed you for a lot of the stuff that's gone wrong with us, I let you put it all on yourself, when I'm at fault as well. Yes I had good reason for choosing not to tell you about Maddie, but I shouldn't have lied all those years. All I did was cause everyone a world of hurt. Not just you, but Maddie, and me, and even Teddy."

"You know I forgave you for that, but, thanks for the apology I guess. It's nice to hear."

Rayna wasn't sure if he was still mad at her or not. This indifference was unlike him. Usually by now he'd be taking her in his arms and holding her tight.

"You know I love you right? That I've always loved you, that I'll never not love you."

Deacon nodded his head. "Never doubted it for a second."

A small smile appeared on Rayna's face between her tears. "You know what I realized today? I have never been single as an adult for more than a second. I went straight from fantasizing about boys in my childhood bedroom to living with you, and then all the years with Teddy, then straight to Luke after we split."

"I know Ray, I've been there for all of it."

"I need to figure out who I am. Just as me, without a man. Without being half of Deacon and Rayna, or Teddy's wife, or Luke's ball and chain. I need to figure out who Rayna Jaymes is."

"I can tell you right now, I bet she's pretty wonderful."

"Don't Deacon."

"Don't what?"

"Don't be nice to me. I've hurt you so badly, I know I have. I don't deserve your kindness."

"Come on Ray, don't be so hard on yourself. Yeah, you hurt me. You've hurt me real bad, especially in the last few months. You've said some pretty awful things to me, but I've always known that ain't what you've really meant. I know you too well for that."

"You've always known me better than I've known myself."

"I'm just a fast learner, and I've had the best subject."

Rayna smiled again and shifted on her boots. "Deacon?"

"Yeah Ray?"

"I know I don't have the right to ask you this, but it's been such a rough day, and well…will you hold me?"

Deacon thought about it for a moment. He knew he shouldn't. He knew that it would just complicate things considering the situation they were both in at the moment, but in many ways it had started off as one of the worst days of his life, the comfort of Rayna's arms around him would be too wonderful to deny himself. He blew out a little puff of air that he hadn't even realized he was holding in and reached out for Rayna. She ran to him wrapping herself around his mid-section and sinking into him as she felt his strong arms close tightly around her petite body.

They stood like that for a while, each taking in the feel and the smell that was uniquely that of their love. Rayna burrowed into Deacon's neck as he buried his head in the waves of her hair. It was sweet relief and total contentment that neither had felt in over a year at this point.

Neither Deacon nor Rayna wanted to let go, but they parted when they heard Scarlett's key in the door. "Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt," she said as she lay her purse on the entryway table.

"It's okay Scarlett," Rayna said. "I really should be going. The tour's off, but I promised my girls Australia for the holidays and I think I should live up to at least one of my promises this year."

"You're still heading out there?"

"Yeah, we're going to be careful to avoid the cities where Luke's tour is going to be, but we'll be gone for ten days. Just the three of us."

Deacon smiled at Rayna. "I think that's a great idea Ray. Tell the girls I'll miss them and I'll see all three of you after the New Year."

"I'm going to hold you to that Deacon Claybourne."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Rayna grabbed her purse and waved goodbye to Deacon and Scarlett. She lingered at the door a moment longer that she should have, staring back at Deacon before slipping out the door. Rayna practically skipped back to her car. Yes she was a mess, but she could already see the path back to herself. Everything was going to be okay.

##

Deacon locked the door and sat on his couch taking in a deep breath.

"See," Scarlett said. "This is not the end of you're life. You have plenty to live for. Your family needs you. Make the appointment Deacon."

Deacon thought about it for a moment before slowly nodding his head. "Alright, first thing tomorrow, I'll make it."

Scarlett smiled and walked over to Deacon kissing the top of his head before heading into her room, leaving Deacon sitting on the couch in full amazement. His granddad always told him that everything could change in 24-hours. He always knew he was a smart man.


	5. Everything Has Changed

**A one-shot for slightly later in the season. I've been playing with it for a couple of weeks, and wasn't going to publish it until a little later, but this hiatus is way too long, and there's not nearly enough people writing positive Rayna/Deacon stories which is just sad (thanks show!), so I thought I'd put it out there now. Just a take on one of the many ways Rayna could find out about Deacon's illness. Warning this gets pretty smutty, because well, it's needed.**

**Oh, and the title of this chapter is after the Lucinda Williams song, not the Taylor Swift song.**

##

Rayna was at the top of her game. It had taken her a while to get back here following the fall out after the broken engagement, but she was really starting to feel like herself again. The girls had adjusted nicely to once again living with just their mother, her album sales had picked back up after a severe dip, and her stable of Highway 65 artists was quickly growing. In fact, tonight was a party celebrating the launch of Christopher Jessup, a new male singer that she had signed a month ago. Yes, things were certainly looking up.

Rayna effortlessly moved through the party shaking hands and clinking champagne glasses as if it was second nature. Her short sparkly dress was just the right mix of mega-superstar performer and serious businesswoman. A permanent smile was plastered on her face, but it wasn't like it was when she did press events with Luke, this one was real. She couldn't be happier.

Rayna spotted Scarlett over in the corner. She and Gunnar had recently started writing some songs again together, and Rayna had made it clear that she was interested in backing the duo. She'd even given them an office in the Highway 65 space. It was more than just mentoring a girl that had failed so miserably as an artist under what was supposed to be her watchful eye, Rayna had meant what she'd said all those months ago to Deacon, Scarlett was family, and she'd noticed that the girl seemed to be rather down lately. She wondered if it had something to do with one of her exes about to have a baby, and another one reaching a new point in his life as the guardian of his nephew. She knew it could be hard when everyone else seemed to be moving forward and you were standing still. That's why she was so happy to notice as she approached Scarlett that she wasn't alone, but was clearly accompanied by a good-looking man in his mid-thirties.

"Scarlett, how are you sweetheart?"

"I'm okay Rayna. Thanks so much for including me. I really appreciate it."

"Nonsense. You are now a part of the Highway 65 team. You belong here. And who's this?" Rayna asked turning toward Scarlett's date.

Scarlett squeezed her companions arm a little. "This is Matthew Rand. We've been seeing each other."

"Nice to meet you," Rayna said shaking his hand.

Just then Scarlett heard her name being yelled from across the room. It was Gunnar and he was motioning with his hand for her to come over. Scarlett looked over at him, then back at Matthew. She clearly wanted to find out what Gunnar needed, but also seemed a little reticent about leaving Matthew alone with Rayna. "Excuse me," Scarlett said, releasing Matthew's arm. "I'll be right back. Just want to see what he wants." Scarlett ran off leaving Matthew standing with Rayna in what was quickly becoming an awkward silence.

"So you and Scarlett, huh?" Rayna asked attempting to make small talk.

"Yes, about three or four weeks now," Matthew replied. Despite living in Nashville for the past six years, an industry party was not his normal scene, and he really didn't have regular conversations with superstars like Rayna Jaymes.

Rayna noticed he was a little nervous. "That's nice," she replied, once again with her practiced smile. "Are you a musician as well?"

"Who me?" Matthew laughed. "I'm practically tone deaf. I'm an oncologist."

"Oh wow, impressive. I barely finished high school." Rayna definitely had a way of disarming people. She felt like it was one of the reasons her fans loved her so much.

"Well, you seem to have done quite well for yourself anyway."

Rayna nodded, still trying to find common ground with this man. "My great aunt had breast cancer, and we owe her life to her oncologist. How did you two meet?"

By now Matthew was distracted. He'd been looking across the room toward Scarlett holding Gunnar's arm and wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. "I'm her uncle's doctor." He was so distracted in fact, that he totally missed it when all the color quickly drained from Rayna's face.

"Her uncle's doctor?" Rayna asked, breath quickening, verging on the edge of hyperventilation. "Her uncle has cancer?"

Still preoccupied by Scarlett and Gunnar, Matthew was scarcely paying attention to Rayna, but continued to talk. "Yes, it's a real shame. Young guy too, barely 46. It's been really hard on Scarlett. It's tough to fight for someone when they've pretty much accepted that they're going to die. Sometimes it's harder on the family left behind than on the patient."

He turned back to Rayna who must have looked like a ghost. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she felt like she was going to pass out. "Are you okay?" Matthew asked suddenly wondering if he had said something wrong.

Rayna nodded her head. "I'm fine, I just, I need to go. Will you excuse me please?" Rayna turned away and made a beeline for the door but was interrupted by Bucky. "Rayna, where are you going?"

"I have to go Buck, please give my apologies."

"Go, are you kidding? The party just started. You're hosting it, you can't leave. Who's going to give the speeches?"

"You can do it Buck, I'm sorry, but I need to get out of here." Rayna ran off leaving Bucky standing there in silence looking after her thoroughly confused.

Scarlett rejoined Matthew who had been left standing alone when Rayna took off. "I think I may have said something wrong."

"I'm sure you did fine. Rayna is one of the most down to Earth women I know, she's real sweet and easy to talk to. What'd you say?"

"She was asking how we knew each other, and I mentioned I was your uncle's doctor."

Scarlett started to panic. "You didn't tell her what kind of doctor you are did you?"

"Yeah, I mentioned I was an oncologist, and she asked if you're uncle had cancer and…" Suddenly it hit him. "She doesn't know Deacon does she?"

Scarlett shook her head hoping she hadn't heard what he had said correctly. "Oh Matthew, of course she knows Deacon, they have a child together. My cousin Maddie. Deacon's daughter who he often talks about. I know music isn't really your thing, but you're telling me you've never heard of Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne?"

Matthew shook his head slowly. "No, I'm sorry. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut."

"No, it's alright. He should have told her weeks ago. It's for the best."

##

Rayna ran out of the restaurant and jumped into her car, driving east as quickly as she could. When she was halfway there she pulled to the side of the road and broke down. Her sobs were uncontrollable. How could this be possible? They were just starting to come back together, learning to trust each other again after a year she would rather forget, how could she be losing him? But then her shock and sadness turned to anger. How could he not tell her? This was huge, and wouldn't only affect them, but their daughter too. Rayna pulled herself together and drove the rest of the way to Deacon's house.

When she got there she rang the doorbell extra long until she heard him stirring inside. He pulled the door open and there he was, looking like he always did in his sweats and a faded t-shirt, no signs of any impending doom. "Hey Ray."

Rayna brushed passed Deacon and into his house. She was incredulous, how could he act so normally when their whole world was falling apart. "I am so mad at you, I don't even know what to say."

A look of confusion crossed Deacon's chiseled features as he shut the door and turned to face her. "How could you not tell me Deacon? This isn't something small, like a cold or the flu, this is goddamn fucking cancer!"

Deacon sighed and mumbled to himself. "Scarlett, she never could keep her mouth shut."

"It wasn't Scarlett, but it doesn't matter how I found out. The important thing is you didn't tell me. We do not keep secrets from each other Deacon. From the time we met, we've always told each other everything! That's who we are."

Deacon felt himself go on the defensive. "What, like you told me about Maddie?"

This knocked some of the wind out of Rayna's sails. "I thought we were past that?"

Deacon shifted realizing he didn't really want to go there right now. "We are, I guess, mostly."

Rayna was hurt and confused, she knew he had every right to still be mad at her about Maddie, but that seemed so inconsequential right now in light of the current circumstances. "Are you trying to punish me for Maddie? Is that why you didn't tell me?"

Deacon shook his head. "Of course not Ray. This isn't about you. It's about me. It's about me fucking up my life when I was a kid in every possible way by drinking. It cost me everything. It cost me you, it cost me years with Maddie, and now it's costing me my life. I have no one to blame but myself, and I don't want anyone taking pity on me."

"Maddie and I aren't anyone Deacon, we're your family. We love you."

"I know, and I love you too, that's why I didn't tell you. I didn't want either one of you to suffer, I didn't want you to waste your lives taking care of a man who screwed up as badly as I did."

Rayna walked closer to Deacon taking his hand. "What did you think was going to happen Deacon? That you were just going to die and we'd find out then? Do you think we wouldn't suffer losing you without any time to say a proper goodbye? You think it'll hurt any less waking up one morning to you not in the world anymore than it would if we were sitting by your bedside through the worst of it? I'm going to tell you something right now Deacon, if you die, no matter how or when it happens, both Maddie and I will be absolutely devastated and completely shattered. There is no way you could save us from that except by living."

By now the tears were back and she could see them forming in Deacon's eyes as well. She pulled his hand to her lips kissing first the back of it, then the palm before Deacon pulled her towards him enveloping her in his arms. They just stood there holding each other for a long while, softly crying.

Rayna ran her hands over his back and up into his hair before softly stroking his face. She pulled his head down towards her and whispered "Please don't leave me baby. Please fight," before sucking longingly on his lips. At first Deacon wasn't sure they should be doing this, but the more her lips and tongue sucked and nipped at his own the more all he wanted was to devour her luscious mouth. The last couple of months had been so rough, and he'd been so lonely, and the pleasure he found in Rayna was too much to deny. As their kisses became deeper and more desperate Deacon reached down lifting Rayna into his arms, and carried her to the bedroom.

Their hearts were beating fast and they were practically panting as they relieved each other of their clothing. Deacon slid his mouth down her neck and stomach until he reached the soft milky flesh of her thighs. His tongue played with the skin just at the point where her leg met the rest of her body teasing her and making her squirm. He lifted his head briefly looking into Rayna's eyes before softly working his tongue over her core. "Oh babe." Rayna cried out as extreme pleasure worked itself into every nerve ending in her body. "You feel so good." His tongue and fingers continued to dip into her as her body bucked off of the bed in an effort to get closer to him. Rayna reached down running her fingers through his hair and scratching her nails against his scalp, which he knew was her signal that she was ready for him. Just in that moment he moved above her pulling her hips against him hard and entering her deeply. Rayna cried out at the intense feeling of him inside of her. It had been so long, and the thought that she could lose him made every kiss and soft touch all the more necessary. Deacon rocked his hips inside of her bringing her to her climax before following her over the edge.

Deacon folded Rayna up in his arms pulling her close. She ran her fingers up and down his chest drawing circles and playing with his hair. He could tell that something was on her mind, but she was too scared to ask him.

"What do you want to know Ray? I'll answer anything."

Rayna looked up at him moving her fingers to caress his stubble. "I'm afraid to ask, but what is your prognosis?"

Deacon started slowly. "Well…the doctor said that about 50% of people at the stage I'm at die in six months." Deacon felt Rayna tense up, which made him pull her closer stroking her back. "But, with proper diet, and medications I could be in the other 50% that could go into remission and live long enough to get a liver transplant."

Rayna lifted her head to look into his eyes. "So, you could live to be 80 if you just fight hard enough?"

Deacon chuckled, leave it to Rayna to assume all he had to do was have enough will to beat cancer to make it happen. "Well, maybe not 80, but yeah, I could live a while longer."

"I'm telling you right now, you are going to be in that 50% Deacon. I'm going to make sure of it."

Deacon smiled up at her. "You can do that huh?"

"Yes, I'm magic like that." Rayna smiled back at him through her tears, kissing his lips. "You just need something to fight for, and you've got the best thing to fight for. Your family."

"There's nothing as important to me as you and Maddie and Daph. I'd do anything for you baby. I want to be around for us, for our family. I want to see the girls grow up, see our grandchildren born."

Rayna smiled brighter than Deacon had seen her smile in a while. "What?" he asked.

"I was just thinking about our grandchildren. I love that we're going to have grandchildren together."

"So do I."

"So you have to stick around, cause I don't want to be a grandparent alone. I don't want to have to tell them stories about their grandpa Deacon. I want them to tell me stories of all the crazy things you've done with them."

Deacon kissed the top of Rayna's head. "I'll try baby, I'm going to try." Deacon lay his head back on the pillow. He knew he had a lot to fight for in this life, he'd been fighting for it since he chose to get sober 15 years ago. He just hoped that he had enough fight left in him to overcome one more thing.


	6. Old Songs and New Beginnings

**New one shot based on a few spoilers. Another take on how Rayna finds out about Deacon's illness. **

##

It had been two months since the cancelled event that shalt not be spoken about. Two months since the incident with Luke and Deacon on his front lawn. Two months since she'd boldly turned up on Deacon's front porch to tell him that she still loved him, still wanted him, still thought there was hope for their future.

Since then there had been nothing. Not that she hadn't spoken to Deacon, she'd spoken to him nearly every day, but it mostly revolved around Maddie or music, or both. She knew when she'd gone over to Deacon's all those months ago that she wasn't ready to jump into something romantic, but once she came back from her trip with the girls she assumed they'd be inching their way back towards what they'd had before the accident. Well, not exactly what they'd had, since Deacon now knew Maddie was his. Now it could be even better than what they'd had. There were no more secrets between them standing in their way; it could be everything they'd ever dreamed of.

Slow was fine, but Rayna was starting to feel like things were moving at a snail's pace, and possibly in the wrong direction. For some reason he seemed to be getting more closed off, more distant, and it was beginning to frustrate Rayna. She'd invited him over for dinner a couple of nights ago, and he had come, but spent most of his time with the girls. It was wonderful that the girls loved him so much, and he loved them just as much in return, but if she had to admit it to herself, she was more than a little jealous.

She thought he'd stay after the girls went to bed, and they'd get some alone time, but the moment Daphne yawned and rested her head on Maddie's shoulder signaling bedtime was near, Deacon announced he better be heading home. As the four of them bid their farewells by the door Deacon gave Daphne a big squeeze, and Maddie a long lingering hug before barely touching Rayna on the forearm. To say she was confused was an understatement.

She'd been trying to incorporate him more into her life lately. After the accident she'd purposefully tried to put some distance between them, which snowballed out of control after the engagement to Luke to the point where she felt like she hardly knew what was going on in his life anymore. She missed him in a deep and all-embracing way she couldn't really describe. It was almost as if her soul was aching for its other half.

She'd asked him to play on Sadie's new album. There was a big guitar part in _Novocain_ and honestly, she didn't really trust anyone but him to play it. He'd agreed, but kept his distance during the recording sessions joking around with the band and turning to Avery and Sadie for feedback rather than her. It felt so strange. The music had always been where they had connected. When everything else had gone to hell in their relationship, the music had continuously brought them back to who they were, brought them back to each other.

She sat in her living room contemplating what she was going to do. Rayna had an idea that she hoped was going to pan out.

"Hey Rayna," Bucky said as he walked into her living room.

"Hey Buck. How are the sales of Sadie's single coming along?"

"Pretty good. She's hit #4 on the country chart just below Florida Georgia Line's new song."

"That's great. We can really use a Highway 65 win these days."

"Talking about a win, have you picked your set for tomorrow's Opry performance?"

"Yep. I'm doing three songs. I think I'll start with _Lies of the Lonely_, then do _This Time_, and since it's a family theme tomorrow, I was thinking I'd invite Deacon up to do one of our old duets with me."

"Are you sure about that Ray?" Bucky looked at her with concern in his eyes. "It's only been two months since your broken engagement to Luke. Do you really think it's a good idea to be singing up on stage with another man so soon?"

"We're not getting married Buck, we're just singing together."

"Well, with the two of you, you never know where singing might lead."

Rayna tried to hide the little smile that appeared on her face. That's exactly what she _was_ hoping. All of a sudden they heard the door open and Deacon and Maddie came strolling into the room. "Hey you two," Rayna said welcoming the pair. "Just exactly who I wanted to see."

"What's up Ray?"

"You know I'm playing the Opry tomorrow night right?"

"Yeah, I may have heard something about it," Deacon said smiling at Maddie who had been talking about it all day.

"You're coming? Right dad?" Maddie asked.

Deacon hesitated. "I don't know Maddie. I think I might be catching a cold. Was thinking I'd stay in for the next couple of days."

"Actually Deacon," Rayna interrupted. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to sing a song with me?"

This is exactly what Deacon didn't want to do. He'd been feeling really rundown lately, and performing on stage in front of a large audience scared him a little bit, but performing with Rayna terrified him. He'd been trying for months now to keep his feelings for Rayna at bay. He loved her and wanted to be with her more than anything, but he couldn't put her in the position where she'd be spending the rest of whatever short life he had left taking care of him. She'd already done that enough back in the day.

The problem was that of course, Rayna had to pick now to start fighting for them. It hadn't escaped him how much attention she'd been showering on him lately, how she'd been asking him to take part in more and more things with she and the girls, casually touching him whenever she had the chance, eying him that way that always drove him wild. Whatever strength he wasn't using to fight cancer he was using to fight off Rayna's advances. Singing together, he and Rayna and music, that was something he knew would push him over the edge.

"I don't think so Ray. I've been taking a break from performing lately. Just want to be low key for a while, but thanks for asking."

"Come on now Deacon. We haven't sung together in a while. It'll be a big deal if we do one of our old duets. Maybe _I Shouldn't Love You_?"

Deacon let out a little laugh. "You want to do _I Shouldn't Love You_ on family night? Not so sure that's an appropriate song to sing," Deacon said as his eyes glanced at Maddie.

Rayna shook her head. "Well, it doesn't have to be that one, but I would really like it if you sang with me Deacon. It would really mean a lot to me."

"Come on dad. I haven't seen you and mom sing together in forever. It used to be my favorite thing, listening to the two of you sing when I was a kid. Now it would be even more special since I know you're my parents."

Deacon sighed. "Let me think about it okay?"

Deacon watched the girls as smiles broke across their faces and he silently cursed himself. _Dammit. I'm going to have to do this aren't I?_

"I've got to go, but I'll see you ladies later, alright?"

"You'll call me about the duet Deacon?" Rayna asked as he walked towards the door.

"Yeah Ray, I'll call tomorrow."

##

Deacon didn't want to call Rayna, he wanted to run up to his cabin and hideout until this whole performance was over with, but he'd promised her in front of Maddie so he couldn't let either one down. He picked up the phone and stared at her name on the speed dial list for a second before hitting call.

_Don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up_, Deacon thought.

"Hey babe." Rayna answered.

_Damn, she picked up. _"Hey Ray."

"So I was thinking that we'd do that song that we debuted at the Opry ten years ago. The one that got a standing ovation. You know which one I mean?"

"Yeah, Ray, I know the song. Are you sure you really want to do this? Won't Luke be there? Don't you think this will kind of be rubbing it in his face a bit you and I singing together again?"

"I thought you'd love _that_ opportunity?"

"Well maybe, but this isn't about me, I just thought publicity wise it might not be good for you to be seen singing with me."

"First of all, to hell with whether this is good for me publicity wise. I'm done caring about that, and second, you know how many emails and tweets Buck gets asking when we're going to sing together again? People miss us being up on stage together Deacon. I miss us being up on stage together. Don't you?"

Deacon couldn't deny it, he did miss being up on stage with Rayna, he missed it more than anything. He'd missed it since the day she'd fired him after the country club disaster with _Changing Ground_. If this was going to be his last hurrah at the Opry before this disease got the best of him, it would be great to be there singing with Rayna. "Of course I do Ray."

"Then let's do this."

Rayna heard the silence on the other side of the phone and felt her stomach tighten like a coil until finally he responded. "Alright Ray, I'll be there. See you tonight."

##

The Opry was packed that night with fans and musicians alike. Rayna was feeling great about being back on a big stage for the first time since her very public cancellation of her "honeymoon" tour. The girls were huddled around her backstage as she got ready.

"Where's Deacon?" Daphne asked. I thought he was going to be here?

Rayna felt the knots return to her stomach. "He's going to be here, you know Deacon, he's always late." At least she hoped that's all it was. She thought back to the day after he'd proposed when she'd come over to tell him she was marrying Luke. The way he'd held her face. "_Come to the Bluebird baby and sing with me, then tell me you're going to marry someone else_." She felt sick now thinking about the pleading look in his eye, what he must have looked like, what he must have felt when she hadn't shown. She knew she deserved it if he chose to stand her up tonight, but she hoped he wouldn't. She really wanted this to be a new beginning for them.

The stagehand popped his head in. "15 minutes till you're on Ms. Jaymes."

"Thanks Buddy." As the stagehand went to close the door it suddenly opened again and there was Deacon standing in the doorway.

"Deacon!" Maddie exclaimed.

"Hey ladies, sorry I'm late. Had a little truck trouble." Truth was his truck trouble was that he was sitting in it for twenty minutes trying to decide if he was really going to start it and head over to the Opry, but seeing the look on his daughter's face he was glad he'd come.

Rayna stood up and walked over to him kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I'm real glad you're here Deacon. I've really been looking forward to tonight."

Deacon gave her a weak smile before turning back to the girls. "Couldn't let my ladies down, now could I?"

"I'm so glad you're here with us!" Maddie said as she hugged Deacon. Rayna stood back watching her happy little family. Everything just felt so right in a way that it hadn't recently, or maybe ever. "Alright girls, Deacon and I have to go sing so you ladies head out to your seats out front, we'll see you soon. Rayna headed towards the stage with Deacon in tow. When they got to the wings she turned to face him taking his hands. "I'm going to do two songs then I'll call you out, okay?"

"Sure Ray, sounds good."

Just then Rayna was announced and she strode out on stage like she owned the world. Deacon just watched her as she commanded the attention of everyone in the auditorium. He'd always been impressed by her stage presence, it was one of the things he loved about her, how she could be so normal and down to earth off stage, she could be the woman sitting around in nothing but his old ratty t-shirt on the couch in his house, but the moment she hit the stage she was a superstar.

She started off with her new single, then went on to sing _This Time _receiving a standing ovation. As the crowd quieted down Rayna picked up the mic again. "Thank you everyone. Continuing with tonight's theme of family and unbroken circles I'd like to bring out someone who's been with me since the beginning, and will hopefully be by my side to the bitter end. Ten years ago we sang this song right here on this stage, and I'd like for him to come out and sing it with me again. Mr. Deacon Claybourne."

Rayna turned towards the wing and gestured for Deacon to come out. He managed a smile as he pushed all the thoughts of his illness aside and took on his own stage persona. He slung his guitar over his head and took his place at the mic next to Rayna. As the music started he made the mistake of looking into Rayna's eyes the way he always used to, and just like that he was lost in her. The song was something they had written years ago when they were still trying to figure out what their relationship could be after she married Teddy. It was about friendship and love and being there till the end for someone no matter what. As Deacon sang the words he'd written with Rayna tears formed in his eyes as he thought about how this could be the end of the road for them. She looked so young and beautiful standing inches away from him. He'd never see her hair grey or the wrinkles of a happy life form on her face, this right here, this could be all they had left.

Rayna looked into his eyes and could see all the emotions he was feeling coming to the surface. She wondered why he was crying, wondered if it had anything to do with her, and how she could take that pain away.

When the song was over Deacon muttered thank you into the mic and quickly left the stage heading towards his guitar case in the dressing room. Rayna was hot on his trail. She found him closing up his case and trying to make a quick escape from the theater. "Hey," she said blocking his exit from the room. "What's going on with you Deacon? What's wrong?"

"Nothin's wrong Ray. I thought that went well."

"I did too, so why are you high tailing it out of here like you got some place better to be?"

"I'm not, I'm just…" Deacon wasn't sure what to say. All the secrets and the lying had taken a lot out of him, and truth be told, he was exhausted.

"What is wrong Deacon? Please, tell me. Is it me? Is it us? Are you still mad at me because of everything with Luke? Because I'm so sorry for that Deacon. I know what a mess I made of everything."

Deacon shook his head. "No Ray, it's not that."

Rayna was confused, but she wasn't willing to give up on him. "I've been trying so hard to reach out to you lately. To show you how much I want you in my life. To make up for all the ways I hurt you this year, and it seems like the harder I try, the more you pull away. I don't get it. Since the moment I married Teddy you made it clear that you wanted me back, that you loved me and I was it for you, and now that I've finally stopped living in denial and realized that you were right all along, that we do belong together no matter what, now you don't want me? Was it just the challenge of winning me, is that it? Now that it's clear that I want you, that I want us, you don't want me anymore?"

Deacon hated hearing her say those words, hated that she might have thought for even a second that his love for her, his desire to be with her was anything but pure and all encompassing. He put his guitar back down as he shook his head. "No Ray, of course not. That's not it at all. I never want you to think that I don't love you, or that I don't want you."

Rayna threw her hands up in the air. "Then I don't understand what's going on here Deacon. Talk to me. I am your best friend, I am your family. Make me understand why you don't want us to have a future."

Deacon had felt the tears returning to his eyes and had been looking down staring at his boots to avoid Rayna's glare, but now he looked up into her pleading eyes and he just didn't have the strength to lie anymore. "We don't have a future Rayna cause I don't have a future. I'm sick."

"What?" she asked taken aback.

Deacon rubbed the scruff on his face and shifted his weight. "I have cancer Ray, I'm dying."

They both stood there in silence staring into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever then suddenly a burst of energy came into the room in the form of Maddie and Daphne.

"You were so amazing guys. Everyone loved the duet so much." Maddie said as she plopped down on the couch. Rayna quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and attempted to muster up a smile for the girls. "I'm so glad you liked it ladies. Someday maybe we'll all sing together up on that stage."

"That would be amazing!" Daphne said.

Rayna looked at Deacon who could see that she was about to lose it. "Alright girls. Who wants ice cream?"

"I do!" both Maddie and Daphne yelled. "Great, let's head downtown. You girls grab your coats and your mamma and I will meet you out at her car."

The girls filed out of the room and the moment the door was closed he pulled Rayna into his arms holding her close. She wrapped her arms around him tightly as if she was holding on for dear life. Her breathing was ragged as she buried her face in his chest. "Don't make a liar of me Deacon. Please tell me we're going to have that chance to all sing together on the Opry stage…as a family."

"I want to Ray. I really do." Deacon pulled back taking Rayna's face in his hands and kissing her forehead. "Come on. I think there's some rocky road with your name on it."

Rayna laughed through her tears. "That's a low blow Claybourne. You know how I feel about rocky road."

"Well let's go get some. Maybe we could share it?"

Rayna took Deacon's hand walking them out the door. "Share it? You'll eat the whole thing. Get your own damn ice cream Deacon." He laughed and kissed her again on the forehead. "I love you Ray."

"I love you too Deacon."


End file.
